2024 Holiday Boundary Guide: https://crafty-composer-5127.kit.com/94bf326d47
https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership
Lear to Mind your Boundaries with Jess: https://www.youtube.com/@UCpFOiBujrj00OAxWnCpsX_g
Free Guide to manage holiday boundaries: https://crafty-composer-5127.kit.com/55a7a3a7e9
Today, I'm super excited that we're going to be talking about boundaries with a boundaries expert, Jess Miller. We'll explore the nitty gritty of setting boundaries. Why do we feel anxious when we do it? Why do we feel guilty after we do it? Why do we maybe shake or cry when we do it? What's the difference between being mean and setting a boundary? What's the difference between an ultimatum and setting a boundary? What do toxic boundaries look like and how Jess shifted in her approach from being a people pleaser to healthy, gentle boundary setting, even with mother in laws.
Jess Miller is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She has 12 years of clinical experience, and she's also a creator that I love on Instagram. Her channel is called Mind Your Boundaries.
00:00 Intro
01:42 How would you define a boundary?
01:58 What are these common obstacles to setting boundaries?
02:25 Have you always been good at setting boundaries?
03:19 How did you come to a place where you're now a boundaries expert?
03:43 How setting boundaries could ever be kind of loving?
06:00 Set limits but also be kind
09:45 An example of setting a boundary
11:13 How do you present boundaries that are firm, but loving?
11:50 What if I set a boundary and the other people don't respect my boundary?
13:29 Technically a boundary is something you can control
15:46 What's the difference between a request and a boundary?
17:43 Be creative
19:58 Describe what your three steps for boundaries are?
21:56 What if your boss keeps on contacting you outside of work hours?
28:02 Cal Newport's book, Slow Productivity.
28:55 The nuclear option
32:28 What is the difference between healthy boundaries and toxic attempts?
34:39 What if I cry when I set a boundary?
34:44 What if you feel guilty?
Check out the transcript below:
https://therapyinanutshell.com/setting-boundaries-with-kindness/
Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell
FREE Mental Health Resources: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/free-resources
Check out my podcast, Therapy in a Nutshell: https://tinpodcast.podbean.com/
Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe
If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.
Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC
https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/membership
Lear to Mind your Boundaries with Jess: https://www.youtube.com/@UCpFOiBujrj00OAxWnCpsX_g
Free Guide to manage holiday boundaries: https://crafty-composer-5127.kit.com/55a7a3a7e9
Today, I'm super excited that we're going to be talking about boundaries with a boundaries expert, Jess Miller. We'll explore the nitty gritty of setting boundaries. Why do we feel anxious when we do it? Why do we feel guilty after we do it? Why do we maybe shake or cry when we do it? What's the difference between being mean and setting a boundary? What's the difference between an ultimatum and setting a boundary? What do toxic boundaries look like and how Jess shifted in her approach from being a people pleaser to healthy, gentle boundary setting, even with mother in laws.
Jess Miller is a licensed marriage and family therapist. She has 12 years of clinical experience, and she's also a creator that I love on Instagram. Her channel is called Mind Your Boundaries.
00:00 Intro
01:42 How would you define a boundary?
01:58 What are these common obstacles to setting boundaries?
02:25 Have you always been good at setting boundaries?
03:19 How did you come to a place where you're now a boundaries expert?
03:43 How setting boundaries could ever be kind of loving?
06:00 Set limits but also be kind
09:45 An example of setting a boundary
11:13 How do you present boundaries that are firm, but loving?
11:50 What if I set a boundary and the other people don't respect my boundary?
13:29 Technically a boundary is something you can control
15:46 What's the difference between a request and a boundary?
17:43 Be creative
19:58 Describe what your three steps for boundaries are?
21:56 What if your boss keeps on contacting you outside of work hours?
28:02 Cal Newport's book, Slow Productivity.
28:55 The nuclear option
32:28 What is the difference between healthy boundaries and toxic attempts?
34:39 What if I cry when I set a boundary?
34:44 What if you feel guilty?
Check out the transcript below:
https://therapyinanutshell.com/setting-boundaries-with-kindness/
Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell
FREE Mental Health Resources: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/free-resources
Check out my podcast, Therapy in a Nutshell: https://tinpodcast.podbean.com/
Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe
If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.
Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC