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Learning how to set boundaries is an important part of mental health and relationships. One of the biggest problems I see people have when they’re learning to set boundaries is learning the difference between setting a boundary and trying to control someone. And I found this ridiculous video that shows some great examples of the difference. Now this video is a little intense, and i’m not saying that either of these guys are setting a good example of how to set boundaries, but when you analyze it you can clearly see the difference between a power struggle and a boundary.
So what should he have done? Take a big breath. 1. Stop the kid and have a calm, respectful conversation. Explain to him his worries. 3. Set a boundary if you do that again, I’m calling the cops. 4. Stop talking and follow through with your action.
Setting boundaries in intense situations can be really hard, so it’s best to practice over and over in small situations. Asking for a different table at a restaurant, or rehearsing what you're going to say to the kid’s parents, etc.
This guy probably relives that conversation in his head a bunch, so he can practice it there, for the next time.
Your loud music is keeping me up at night, could you please turn it down (request)
“If you don’t turn it down, I will report your to the HOA” walk away
Follow through. if the music is loud again, call the HOA
If you find yourself attempting to convince someone else to be descent, to be respectful, to change their opinion, if you find yourself debating, arguing, or building resentment. Then you’re probably trying to control things that you can’t control (ie other people)
00:00 Intro
00:25 The Helmet Cam Video
02:13 What is a Boundary?
05:39 Setting a Boundary
Click https://therapyinanutshell.com/setting-a-boundary/ to read the blog:
Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell
FREE Mental Health Resources: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/free-resources
Check out my podcast, Therapy in a Nutshell: https://tinpodcast.podbean.com/
Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe
If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 988 or your local emergency services.
Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC
Learning how to set boundaries is an important part of mental health and relationships. One of the biggest problems I see people have when they’re learning to set boundaries is learning the difference between setting a boundary and trying to control someone. And I found this ridiculous video that shows some great examples of the difference. Now this video is a little intense, and i’m not saying that either of these guys are setting a good example of how to set boundaries, but when you analyze it you can clearly see the difference between a power struggle and a boundary.
So what should he have done? Take a big breath. 1. Stop the kid and have a calm, respectful conversation. Explain to him his worries. 3. Set a boundary if you do that again, I’m calling the cops. 4. Stop talking and follow through with your action.
Setting boundaries in intense situations can be really hard, so it’s best to practice over and over in small situations. Asking for a different table at a restaurant, or rehearsing what you're going to say to the kid’s parents, etc.
This guy probably relives that conversation in his head a bunch, so he can practice it there, for the next time.
Your loud music is keeping me up at night, could you please turn it down (request)
“If you don’t turn it down, I will report your to the HOA” walk away
Follow through. if the music is loud again, call the HOA
If you find yourself attempting to convince someone else to be descent, to be respectful, to change their opinion, if you find yourself debating, arguing, or building resentment. Then you’re probably trying to control things that you can’t control (ie other people)
00:00 Intro
00:25 The Helmet Cam Video
02:13 What is a Boundary?
05:39 Setting a Boundary
Click https://therapyinanutshell.com/setting-a-boundary/ to read the blog:
Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell
FREE Mental Health Resources: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/free-resources
Check out my podcast, Therapy in a Nutshell: https://tinpodcast.podbean.com/
Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe
If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 988 or your local emergency services.
Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC